These days I am going through emotional bouts. I miss my kids, all of them. They are growing and they are changing. I know and I believe that the easiest way to have them in my life is to accept them how they are and not to fix them. As a father, it is very difficult not TO FIX my kids. I am always tempted to do so. In the meantime I am grilled by their lack of attention to me. When I look at myself, I am not the best son regarding my communication with my parents. I love my parents so much but I was never the best communicator I can be. So I do not blame my kids for not being good communicators as I am not a good example myself. I love my parents so much, but I am not sure if I properly show that or not. That is exactly what I am receiving from my kids too. I am on a roller coaster of power and satisfaction to bottoms of desperation and boredom. When I am at the top, I always have the initiative and I feel great. When I am at the bottom of my life rollercoaster, I am always waiting for attention and care which is very poor and inconsistent.
I chose to write today to communicate with you and with the whole world. What I am communicating is of no value, it is the communication and living the being of a human. Isolating myself within my body and not crossing the gaps to you, all of you, including my kids is a major disservice to me. Communicating with you, all of you is part of being alive and it is living my role as a member of this huge community called the world.
I started to blog a while ago, almost a year now. Frequency of my articles was always inconsistent as I was always waiting for what is right to write, so that I add to you, To Fix You, my world community and To LOOK good.
I have just figured it out today that writing to you what I am going through is of a great value for all of us. It entrenches my position as a member of our fantastic world community that we are all responsible for. Regardless of how I look it also empowers me to live happily and experience positive emotions.
English is my second language, so feel free if you want to comment on my ideas, spelling or grammar mistakes. Our communication is my purpose, and living together happily is my goal.
See you around or online
Ahmed Eldemellawy
